Funny how things percolate, how they integrate – pretty much at their own pace – when we give them the time and the space.

I’ve been having a lot of conversations this week about coping.  People asking me how I am coping with the current events, the uncertainty, the unfamiliar and sometimes scary emotions that are showing up.

I’m doing the best I can with what I know.  I’m using the tools and techniques I’ve learned and doing my best to stay present.  Yes, that includes a lot of breath work and self-hypnosis. I’m reaching out to friends and trusted colleagues.  I’m choosing what I read and what I listen to, who I speak with and what media to allow in.

Last week, I had the pleasure of participating in very informative and helpful an on-line workshop, offered by a friend and colleague Kat Lee. (Find her thoughtful tips on IG http://@empoweredcuriosity )  There were many things she said that really resonated with me – and as often happens with workshops, there was one area that really caught my attention.

She took us through an exercise that helped me reframe some things – to re-set my focus. She had us look at what we do have control of and what we don’t.

Well, it looks like I am not in control of as much as I thought.

Ugh.  It’s uncomfortable to think about that – since I’ve been pre-programmed to try to control my environment as much as possible so that I feel safe.

The truth is I am only really ever in control of me – my choices, my perspective, my attitude, my thoughts, my words, my deeds, my responses or reactions.  I can stand up for myself by creating healthy boundaries, I get to ask for what I really need, I get to say no when I mean no.  And, when I consider it that way – that is more than I often give myself credit for.

I cannot tell the future (I can only guess or worry about what might or might not happen).  I cannot make someone else do something or not.

When we feel powerless, we experience many things – fear, anger, resentment, etc. – and our reaction is Fight/Flight – Freeze – Collapse/Numb.  When that’s happening is, it any wonder that we lash out at others, that we judge other’s actions, that we run away, that we feel like we are a jittery mess on ‘High Alert’, that we are exhausted, short tempered, impatient and sad.

Kat’s exercise helped me refocus on the things I can control and away from the things I can’t.

That doesn’t mean I am blissfully sitting in Ohm all day – or that I ignore the events that are occurring.  However, I does help me maintain calm, and gain perspective, to feel more powerful because I am making decisions based in what I know to be true.   Looking at it from this new perspective, I find myself beginning to see more of what I CAN do.

If you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious, keep in mind that you are not alone. There are people that care and resources that are available. Yes, there will always be things that are beyond our control – and yet there is still much that we do control. This illustration was posted on Twitter http://@TCTBrandy recently, and I found it really helpful as a gentle reminder of that.

Stay safe and well. Reach out if you need help with any of this. You can DM me on Twitter @NicoletteEus

Nicolette Eus, CHt