Even as a kid – or maybe ESPECIALLY as a kid, Patience was never one of my virtues. No matter how many times my mom would look at me, exasperated….. and say ‘Nicolette, be patient.’…… I never seemed to get it through my skull that I could NOT control the outcome of things. I was certain that my impatience would make things work faster (like pushing the elevator a zillion times) or better.
So here I am – 40 some years later, and the theme of having patience has come back and tapped me on the shoulder again (though it feels like it’s kicked me in the butt).
Patience. What the heck is my hurry anyway?
Why am I so darned anxious to get older and through this stage of my life?
I must admit that I am a tad frustrated and confused with what appears to be a new version of my body. The one I had a year or two ago responded differently to food and exercise than the one I’ve got now. I don’t remember trading it in – and, when I look at photos of me from back then, I was pretty cute – healthy, toned, slim. Why don’t I feel that way now?
Menopause – It won’t kill you. Ha ha.
What Menopause has taught me (that my mom never could) is that I can’t force my body to do anything it really doesn’t want to. I’ve learned that yelling (or swearing) at it gets me no where, but in tears….. I’ve learned that the exercises I used to do so easily and with what seemed like almost immediate positive results, is now taking much, much – much longer. There is progress, but it is frustratingly slow.
What the heck? Why isn’t this working? What else do I have to do? What I’ve read and am told is that this slowing down is normal, that my body’s metabolism has changed, that now there are enzymes in my body that are now responding differently? What? How can I control them? I can’t. They’re enzymes.
What are my options? I can continue to make myself miserable by saying nasty things (out loud or to myself) in efforts to give myself incentive (yeah, that doesn’t work). I can desperately clench onto what my body used to be like…… or, I can look at this whole thing as a big joke on me and figure out new ways to feel better and stay healthy.
So, I’m trying new activities and have rediscovered the joy of bicycling.
Time will continue to pass no matter what I do or say or think. Why not embrace the new body I’ve got now. It seems that the exercise and healthy food choices I’m making are having some positive impact. The fact that it’s taking longer to see and feel the results is a reality.
Now I’m saying ‘Nicolette, be patient’ with a smile. The truth is, I am actually not in control of the inner workings and mysteries of this body. So rather than resist and deny the changes that are a natural part of life, I am going to invite and embrace this new gal and see if there’s something fun I can discover and learn about her….. gonna see if we can be friends. With patience, I’m betting we can.